I didn’t blog my weekly update last week because it’s been much of the same, me dragging my butt, grabbing whatever is available to eat and basically not sticking to my plan.

I’ve actually been feeling really bummed lately. Disappointed in myself and wondering what I need to do to find that motivation I had when I was pregnant. I am repeatedly shocked to realize that the way I love my children and the way I love myself is so completely at opposite ends of the spectrum. It took me one day to kick my bad eating habits to the curb while pregnant and for myself? I haven’t even come close to doing, o-kay!

So what is it that I’m lacking? Motivation? Willpower? Self-respect?

I don’t have the answer, but I will tell you that in the past I would beat myself up over not doing as well as I had planned and then give up. I’m not giving up and I will not berate myself anymore. Today is a new day, I’m just gonna have to do better at it than I did yesterday.

I did however get a little boost from this blog I came across, called Runs for Cookies. It’s about this one woman’s experience in losing 125 pounds over the course of 16 months. She details her challenges and triumphs (which I haven’t completely read — there are a lot of posts!), but what really got to me was her page titled, 100-lb Difference. She details all the differences she has experienced since losing a 100lbs. Many of the items on her list, I can totally relate to and have yet to overcome. Over all, perusing her blog was a motivational experience.

I also came across another woman’s blog where she details her weight loss week by week and posts her starting weight and current weight. Yesterday she just celebrated reaching that 50lbs lost milestone. Her blog got me to thinking that it might be a good thing to come out of the closet with that weight number. I’ve been undecided on that fact because I’m ashamed by it. But if I’m ashamed by that number, than I’m saying I’m ashamed of myself and that’s not good for staying positive.

So what to do? Readers, if there any readers out there, what do you think? Should I post my weight and stop hiding by this false reality of being, “not that fat” or is it an unnecessary embarassment? Leave your thoughts and opinions in a comment if you’d be so kind

I’ll leave you with this great motivational blog on cutting sugar out of your life. I think Sarah is onto to something!