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I didn’t blog my weekly update last week because it’s been much of the same, me dragging my butt, grabbing whatever is available to eat and basically not sticking to my plan.

I’ve actually been feeling really bummed lately. Disappointed in myself and wondering what I need to do to find that motivation I had when I was pregnant. I am repeatedly shocked to realize that the way I love my children and the way I love myself is so completely at opposite ends of the spectrum. It took me one day to kick my bad eating habits to the curb while pregnant and for myself? I haven’t even come close to doing, o-kay!

So what is it that I’m lacking? Motivation? Willpower? Self-respect?

I don’t have the answer, but I will tell you that in the past I would beat myself up over not doing as well as I had planned and then give up. I’m not giving up and I will not berate myself anymore. Today is a new day, I’m just gonna have to do better at it than I did yesterday.

I did however get a little boost from this blog I came across, called Runs for Cookies. It’s about this one woman’s experience in losing 125 pounds over the course of 16 months. She details her challenges and triumphs (which I haven’t completely read — there are a lot of posts!), but what really got to me was her page titled, 100-lb Difference. She details all the differences she has experienced since losing a 100lbs. Many of the items on her list, I can totally relate to and have yet to overcome. Over all, perusing her blog was a motivational experience.

I also came across another woman’s blog where she details her weight loss week by week and posts her starting weight and current weight. Yesterday she just celebrated reaching that 50lbs lost milestone. Her blog got me to thinking that it might be a good thing to come out of the closet with that weight number. I’ve been undecided on that fact because I’m ashamed by it. But if I’m ashamed by that number, than I’m saying I’m ashamed of myself and that’s not good for staying positive.

So what to do? Readers, if there any readers out there, what do you think? Should I post my weight and stop hiding by this false reality of being, “not that fat” or is it an unnecessary embarassment? Leave your thoughts and opinions in a comment if you’d be so kind 🙂

I’ll leave you with this great motivational blog on cutting sugar out of your life. I think Sarah is onto to something!

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6 comments

  1. February 1, 2012 at 8:42 am ForeverReading1

    “Should I post my weight and stop hiding by this false reality of being, “not that fat” or is it an unnecessary embarrassment? ” Posting your weight is unnecessary. You and only you should know how much you weigh, so that when you lose the weight (You Will Lose The Weight) you can then post the big weight loss along with the past weight reference. If you still feel the need to post your weight, post it in big black letters on your refrigerator right next to your skinny picture.

    • February 1, 2012 at 9:38 am Syd

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, ForeverReading! You’re very certain that weight shouldn’t be shared until you’ve made it to your goal. Your confidence has made me wonder why I feel the need to embarrass myself by sharing my weight. Probably another attempt to sabotage myself…

  2. February 1, 2012 at 12:12 pm engarde

    ITA with ForeverReading1. I think it is good to be honest and realistic with yourself. If you were to post your weight, I would fear it would be a label used to punish yourself–(i.e. just. look. what. you. did. to. yourself!) and that’s hardly motivating. I like FR1’s idea of placing your “skinny” photo on the fridge, but adding to it what about how you were in that photo that made your life better: I slept better, I felt better, I had more energy… IMO, those things will motivate you more. 🙂

    • February 2, 2012 at 9:57 pm Syd

      I agree with both of you! Thanks for chiming in before I put up my weight for everyone to see! LOL! And I like those ideas. I’m definitely gonna add the positive attributes of life when I was lighter!

  3. February 6, 2012 at 1:20 am Love

    So… This is what I think… You don’t need to write your numbers down on your blog or your fridge but you should keep a tally for your own self. Where to put it is up to you but don’t make it a very noticeable thing in your home. That can easily become more unmotivating and a reason for self-loathing or even destruction. 

    I think sharing intimate details of oneself unburdens oneself or at least lessens the weight (both figuratively and literally).  It would help if you talked about your weight, your goals and your achievements with a few close people. This helps with accountability and it’s not embarrassing sharing with people that love you and respect you.  It’s not a shame to look different then you once did. Plants die if they don’t grow or at least start to slant! Changes are good but within healthy reason. Take care of yourself and model what you want for your children (healthy eating, positive body image regardless of shape, and loving oneself). They will be your biggest motivators!

    • February 10, 2012 at 2:28 am Syd

      I think it’s pretty interesting to see how all three of you saw so clearly to the reality that the number would be a tool of punishment for me.

      Thank you for your input and for the reassurance that I am more than my mistakes and more than a number!

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