This past year and part of 2018 (you can read about some of what happened in my 2018 recap) my little girl was the one that paid the price for my bad choices in friends. Going after my kid...that’s a low I did not expect from these people...from anyone really. I was living a fantasy. A fantasy where women aren’t jealous twats. Where mothers don’t want to take down other kids. Where grown ups care who they’re hurting...where getting the facts right is important. Especially where it concerns innocent kids. That was my fantasy. And it got blasted out of the water.
For 2019, my wish is to never forget that despite my shortcomings and weaknesses, I am worthy of love and belonging. Love and belonging from people who are also on the same spiritual path as me. Who choose understanding over anger, who love themselves enough to tell you what's up, who are patient and kind, even when it's hard. That's what I'm looking for in meaningful close relationships going forward and this time, I won't settle.
And one last reminder to myself - you are more than enough, all by your damn self. Other people, friends, family, accomplishments -- they don't define you. Just as you are today, that is more than fucking enough. Don't forget again.