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A decade ago today my mom passed away from breast cancer. It was Thursday May 3rd, 1997 that everything changed for me. I look back at the ten years that have gone by and I wonder if it was on that day or sometime during the months of caring for my sick mother that I had learned to put myself last.

I was 15 at the time, a month and a half away from my 16th birthday and I had never felt so alone in my life. Thinking that there wasn’t another person on this entire planet who was genetically linked to me.

The little 15 year old girl that I was at the time:

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She needed to go away. There was no place for her in the new life I found myself leading – so I locked her up. She’s been hidden away for a very long time and I want her back! This is a reminder of the girl I once was, and the person that is somewhere inside who really needs some attention!

This journal entry isn’t about loss and sadness, instead it’s about discovery and hope for the future. This is a declaration for CARPE DIEM! I’ve let so many days and years go by not even putting myself on the “list” and today is the beginning of a new decade and from this day forward each one will count for a better future.

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